"Looking for Angels"

When a person seeks counseling, it is usually because they have encountered personal or relational problems they cannot resolve. A part of the process of counseling is to discover how that person has learned to relate and cope with problems throughout their life because those ways may not be working well.

During our childhood we acquire basic assumptions about our relationships and ourselves. From our childhood we may acquire the basic assumption that we can generally trust other people and depend on them. Because of our childhood experiences we may also assume that we are good, interesting, and worthwhile, and we seek to see others as good, interesting, and worthwhile. Hopefully we assume the world is generally a good and safe place to be even though it can be very bad and unsafe at times.

Unfortunately, many childhood experiences do not result in positive and constructive assumptions. Whenever I discover that someone has suffered a childhood which has resulted in assumptions that they are not good, interesting, and worthwhile, I want to know who taught them these assumptions and how. More importantly, however, I also know that somewhere they received good messages because those messages are the ones that have given them the courage to ask reflective questions and to seek counseling. It is important to find out who gave them the good messages because that is the source of their strength. Those people are their "Angels". It can be anyone – parent, sibling, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, neighbor, minister, coach, teacher and many others.”

Hopefully, you have many “Angels” from your childhood, but if you think not, reflect on who really made a difference for you and helped you to think better of yourself and gave you strength, and confidence, and love. Think more about them and be thankful for them because they gave you a precious gift. They are your “angels.”